Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Come on in and take your pants off
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