I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize