K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
