party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize