Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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