It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have aggressive nipples.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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