this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
