u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
