Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
