I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize