Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
