I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
