Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
