Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
