Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
