i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
