More tranny stories later!
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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