More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
