an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
