Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
