i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
