rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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