Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
