I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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