I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
