The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
