Already got asked if we're dating
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
