wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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