Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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