why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
