Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Can Purell be used as lube?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
