There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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