the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
