I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
