we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Randomize
