I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
the liver wants what the liver wants
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
