Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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