he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
