You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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