2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Boobs are out for the taking
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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