he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
