How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
