Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
