Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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