If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
