Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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