i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
