Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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