Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
