Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
