I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
