My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
