And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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