Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
