what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
