I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
