who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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