quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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