you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
