we're blogging at a bar
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
