@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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