Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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