Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She said her name was "party"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
