Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
