And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
